(Take one Tony Abbott, remove budgies and deep fry)
I’m assuming you have absolutely no idea what a changing climate means. How could you? You’re busy. You barely have time for A Current Affair let alone the IPCC report or the findings of The Union of Concerned Scientists. But Rod Quantock does.
He’s talked to climate scientists and experts. He’s watched the documentaries and read the books. He has taken the news stories big and small and joined the dots:
- Australia’s coast line is being eaten by rising seas and more frequent and ferocious storms. (In time we’ll all get a turn at being a water front property.)
- By 2030 days of 500C plus will be common. (On the up-side, the demand for air-conditioning will give the brown coal industry a boost.)
- Ice and snow everywhere are on the verge of collapse. (Fingers crossed that means the end of the Winter Olympics.)
- Forty percent of all species – everything from whales to worms – will be extinct by 2050. (On the up side, there will be 40% more of us and that’s got to be a good thing for the housing market.)
- For the first time in millions of years the North Pole will be ice-free in summer. (Who is going to tell the children that Rudolph drowned? And what of Superman’s Fortress of Solitude?)
The evidence is overwhelming, the science irrefutable: Our climate is changing, there’s no denying it but people do deny it and because people do deny it we do nothing about it and because we do nothing about it the climate keeps changing.
Climate change deniers – fossil fools like Steve Fielding, fanatics like Andrew Bolt and politicians – have the environmental credentials of cane toads and the intellectual integrity of Paris Hilton.
The Dark Lords of Carbon and the parasitic half-men, half-wallet abominations of print, pixel and parliament that swing from their teats have robbed us of decades of action and made catastrophic climate change inevitable.
So when the CO2 hits the fan and the food runs out, Rod thinks it’s only fair that before we eat each other, we should eat the deniers first and he’s looking for recipes. You can post your favourite denier and a recipe at quantock.com.au.
“Changing the world is never so much fun as when you do it in the company of Rod Quantock.” Susan Provan, Director, Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
PS If you still doubt the climate is changing Andrew Bolt says it isn’t so therefore it is! Q.E.D.
Venue: Trades Hall, Cnr Lygon & Victoria St, Carlton
Dates: Thu 25 March – Fri 16 April
Times: Tue-Sat 7.15pm, Sun 6.15pm
Tickets: Previews (25-28 March) $19.90; Tues $19.90; Full $24.90, Concession, Laugh Pack & Group (6+) $22.90 (no Conc Sat)